Control
by Zero Rae Ryoshi
Summary: It all just comes down to one thing: control; whether or not you're the one in control or you're the one being controlled.


White Wolf Fan Fiction Presents:

~Control~

A Scrubs Story

* * *

><p><strong>Title:<strong> Control

**Words:** 2,150

**Warnings:** Yaoi, fluff, and angst.

**Pairings:** Dr. Cox/JD and mentions of Jordan/Elliot

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Scrubs or its characters.

**Summary: **It all just comes down to one thing: control; whether or not you're the one in control or you're the one being controlled.

-0-

_ I know Dr. Cox and I have strange relationship, but it works. Everyone always asks me why I torture myself by striving for his attention because it's clear that he really doesn't like me, but... let me tell you a secret. I would gladly torture myself every second of every day if it meant I could do at least one of three things: make Dr. Cox genuinely smile or laugh, give him an outlet so he could at least be remotely happy or at least less stressed afterwards, or just overall make him happy._

_ And it all comes down to one thing: control; whether or not you're the one in control or you're the one being controlled._

_ Of course there's always that one little thing that puts a shift in every controlled relationship... you just never realize it until it's already hit you in the face. And then, well then you just have to decide if you can live with the change or not._

-0-

"Na ah, come on Newbie, you're my bitch now." Jordan said, grabbing onto JD's arm and turning him around sharply. They didn't get very far, because a sharp whistle cut them off from a clean exit from the lobby. "Oh jeez, what now?" Jordan mock-sighed, pulling a frown and turning to face- _there was only one person that could whistle like that and put the fear of god into anyone that heard it._

Dr. Cox had the meanest look in his eyes, his lips pulled into a tight line and JD could honestly say he'd never seen him this mad. "Whe-he-ere do you think you are going with Newbie?" He snapped, walking up to her face and Jordan smirked.

"Oh, didn't you know?" She taunted him and he narrowed his eyes, "Janet here is my bitch now." _I really wish they would stop calling me by girl names..._ That little voice inside JD's head spoke up as he stared back and forth between the two ex's.

"Is that right?" Dr. Cox straightened, squaring his shoulders. "Well, you see, as it turns out, Newbie here already belongs to me. And I wasn't aware that you had already dumped Barbie's little ass for the prison dogs to tear up." He ground out and JD winced, knowing it definitely wasn't the best thing Dr. Cox could've said.

Jordan scowled at him and let go of JD's arm to cross her own arms at her chest. Contrary to popular belief, it did make her a bit more intimidating. "Elliot is not my bitch, she is in fact my girlfriend and if you think for a second you're fooling me with that tough guy act around little JD here, you're wrong because we all know how you really feel."

There it is, that little crinkle in Dr. Cox's eyes when he gets really mad. "Well sorry to burst your little fantasy bubble but Allison here is not my girlfriend, in fact she couldn't be farther from it." He growled and then he turned his chin up, like he always does when he tries to get his point across and avoid something big at the same time. "Now get it in your thick head that I do not like her and go play dollhouse with Barbie." He sneered and he really couldn't help it, but JD flinched.

He tried not to show how hurt he was, so instead he chose to joke around like he always did in situations like this. He gave a loud bout of fake laughter and shook his finger at Dr. Cox. "Oh, this, guy... always the little joker, huh bud?" _Damn it, I squeaked! Come on, JD, finish strong._ Despite that little voice in his head, he couldn't do it. "Surprise hug!" He shouted weakly, wrapping his arms around Dr. Cox and the man tensed.

"Newbie if you don't get off of me this second I'll-"

"It's okay," JD whispered instead, keeping the hug tight, "I'm happy being whatever you want me to be..."

And then he let go and walked away, not daring to look back.

_Good finish, JD..._ That little voice whispered.

-0-

_ Okay, so maybe I'm not okay as I thought I was. And no, I totally am not avoiding Dr. Cox- Shit, there he is... Okay, so maybe I am avoiding him just a little. But I have good reason to... Actually, no, I don't._

JD sighed, leaning back against the door of the closet he was in.

_ It's just, I guess I finally realized that I can't take this thing we have anymore. All I wanted was to just be his... whether it's as an 'apprentice' or as his... his bitch. But it's apparent I'm not anything to him anymore, never was._

_ Maybe it's finally time to let this thing go..._ JD lowered his head and wiped his tears, burying his face in between his knees. "If only it was that easy..." he whispered.

-0-

_ Truth is, it really wasn't easy to let go... but it was easy to forget as long as I never saw Dr. Cox. However, that didn't really last long._

"You've been avoiding me." The sound of the office door slamming open and Dr. Cox's sharp voice invaded JD's head, snapping him from his thoughts and making him jump three feet in the air in his fright.

"D-Dr. Cox!" JD squeaked, wincing, clearing his throat. "What are you doing here?" He tried to ask professionally, but it didn't quite work out, with the break in his voice.

Clearly Dr. Cox was in the shittiest mood he could possibly be and it was probably the worst time to be asking questions that JD already knew the answer to. "Alright, here's the deal Bianca, you're going to tell me exactly what the he-ell is going or I'm going to-"

JD looked down and away at this, cutting him off before he could do anything to make himself look stupid in front of his hero. "Actually, Dr. Cox, I have to go." He started to walk towards the door but Dr. Cox slammed it shut before he even had the chance to react. JD jumped again, flinching back visibly and for a moment it almost looked like Dr. Cox regretted what he did. But the regret was gone as soon as it appeared.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about," he hissed and JD gulped, still looking down. "You've been avoiding me and I want to know why, now, Diana, before I lose my patience and beat it out of you."

_ Come on, don't lose your cool, JD, don't lose your-_

"What the hell does it matter to you!?" JD snapped, for once not listening to that little voice inside his head. Dr. Cox looked a bit shocked at the outburst but JD didn't stop, tears welling up in his eyes, but he didn't care. "You've never once cared what I did unless I screwed something up and then it always ended up with you yelling at me or insulting me or doing whatever else you can think of to humiliate and destroy me in front of everyone. And for once I really can't understand why I even let you." He growled, turning sharply away from Dr. Cox and gripping his hair with his hands. "Not once did I..." he trailed and slumped his shoulders in defeat. "What did I do... to make you hate me... so much...?" He sniffled and for once, there was complete silence between them.

"I don't hate you," Dr. Cox started and JD cut him off again with a scoff, some of the anger returning.

"You've treated me like dirt since the moment I stepped into this hospital, always berating me and correcting every little thing I did. And not once, not once," he gripped his arm tightly, closing his eyes, "have you called me by my name or even my title."

"Why does it matter now?" Dr. Cox suddenly asked. All these years and you've not once complained about anything I've done, taking every hit I've dished. What's changed?"

JD froze, hearing that and his breath hitched in fright. _What has changed? ...you've gone from being the jackass that treated everyone like crap to being my hero and then... and then from that to something more._ "You really don't get it." JD whispered, turning to Dr. Cox with tears in his eyes. "The only thing that has changed is how I see you now from how I saw you then."

"And... and how do you see me?" Dr. Cox asked and JD almost smiled.

"Everyone knows I see you as my hero... my mentor. Because everything you do in this hospital always makes a difference and I try so hard to be like you. But the truth is... though you're still my hero... I..." he sighed and shook his head, frowning. "It doesn't matter how I see you, Dr. Cox." He said and looked at the older man again. "It's about control, didn't you know? I'm not the one in control so it doesn't matter what I think, it only matters... it only matters what you think."

This time it was Dr. Cox that was frozen, and he swallowed hard. "You want to know what I think, JD?" He asked and the other's eyes widen when he heard his name. "I think that you're the only one in this entire world who will let me control every little thing about them."

"I do not-" JD started to argue, ignoring the voice in his head that said he really did let Dr. Cox control everything about him.

"Take your shirt off Newbie," Dr. Cox growled out and almost immediately JD did, but he stopped about halfway.

"Wait why did you-" _It was then that I understood, I really did do everything Dr. Cox told me to do. _"Oh..." he whispered.

"I'm all about control, god knows I am, but... JD... that's the problem. For once in my life it's just too much."

"Oh..." JD said again, lowering his head after putting his shirt back on. "I... I understand..."

"No, Newbie, I really don't think you do." Dr. Cox said, taking the two steps towards JD before they were face to face. "With every girlfriend I've had it was all about the control, and trust me, I loved every bit of it. But not once have I had so much control over someone that i didn't know how to act. Not even with Jordan, who by the way had way more control that even I had." _That I could definitely see, but why was he saying all of this to me?_ "Trust me, New- JD... I re-heally don't know what I'm trying to get at but..." _Oh... oh...! I get it, this is one of those moments where you have to kiss the person before they end up saying something they'll regret, then take it out on you and then leave for good._ "What are you doing," Dr. Cox breathed out when JD wrapped his arms around Dr. Cox's neck.

"I... I don't know, but... hopefully it won't be something I'll regret later." He whispered, looking just a tiny bit sheepish and hopeful at the same time, before closing the distance, placing his lips timidly on Dr. Cox's own.

It was just a chaste little kiss, but it sent JD's mind alight in ways no one else could do for him.

He broke away just as quickly as it happened and closed his head, resting his forehead on Dr. Cox's shoulder. "People ask me why I stick around you... Why I strive for your attention..." JD started in a whisper, "It's... It's because I love you and I will do everything i can to make you happy..."

"What about-" Dr. Cox really couldn't help but ask, and JD already knew the answer.

He lifted his head up with a small smile, opening his eyes and staring into Dr. Cox's own, "I'm happy just being whatever you want me to be. Whatever I am to you: your apprentice... your 'bitch'... even just a nobody... I can live with it just as long as you're happy."

_ It was then that I could see everything in Dr. Cox's eyes: regret, hurt, anger, guilt, fear, and... love._

"And what if... what if I said I wanted you to be more than all of that?" Dr. Cox asked and JD frowned, fear and hope simultaneously flitting across his own eyes.

"What do you mean more...?" He questioned, his voice soft and quiet, and Dr. Cox didn't answer, he only kissed him again. "Oh..." JD whispered, a smile lighting his face. "I'm perfectly okay with that."

-0-

_ Eventually it really did just come down to control. It's all about what the one being controlled is willing to give and what the one in control is willing to take, and maybe... sometimes... it's the other way around._


End file.
